Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
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The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize