So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize