I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
In America we eat man semen.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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