we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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