I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
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I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
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Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
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