i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I think my fart just growled at me.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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