doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
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Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
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I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
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