i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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