I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Randomize