I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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