I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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