it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
My boob is missing a layer of skin
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize