It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize