Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
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