I showed him my bush... on skype.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
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Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
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I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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