True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
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