We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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