yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize