Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
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