haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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