my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
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