you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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