there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
foreskin is a definite game changer
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize