before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize