We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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