I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
Randomize