Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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