I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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