Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize