I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
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I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
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You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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