this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Randomize