Texts From Last Night

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  (415): View more from California

  Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.

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  (415): Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were. http://tfl.nu/n6mv
  Replies (1) Good night (977) Bad night (412)
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  (607): View more from New York

  went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever

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  (607): went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever http://tfl.nu/r7ss
  Replies (6) Good night (3556) Bad night (437) Order T-Shirt
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.

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  (712): I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up. http://tfl.nu/k85m
  Replies (14) Good night (4186) Bad night (1135) Order T-Shirt
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  are you so shy because you have an std?

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  (403): are you so shy because you have an std? http://tfl.nu/9nrw
  Replies (8) Good night (461) Bad night (3156) Order T-Shirt
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  (516): View more from New York

  so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.

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  (516): so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool. http://tfl.nu/00u1
  Replies (25) Good night (1217) Bad night (4963) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.

  (1-973): View more from New Jersey

  Guess she heard her killer coming

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  (973): I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear. (1-973): Guess she heard her killer coming http://tfl.nu/u45m
  Replies (116) Good night (46518) Bad night (2047) Order T-Shirt
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.

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  (479): i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for. http://tfl.nu/5iul
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  (631): View more from New York

  we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,

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  (631): we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars, http://tfl.nu/j4u2
  Replies (14) Good night (4960) Bad night (639) Order T-Shirt
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.

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  (971): He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex. http://tfl.nu/3zjj
  Replies (21) Good night (1711) Bad night (6371) Order T-Shirt
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.

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  (573): I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator. http://tfl.nu/5d16
  Replies (31) Good night (1056) Bad night (3746) Order T-Shirt
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  (713): View more from Texas

  She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.

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  (713): She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing. http://tfl.nu/4ei8
  Replies (7) Good night (2606) Bad night (682)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in

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  (817): I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in http://tfl.nu/jhp8
  Replies (6) Good night (3009) Bad night (767) Order T-Shirt
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"

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  (+61): I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer" http://tfl.nu/7qtl
  Replies (11) Good night (2624) Bad night (445) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.

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  (704): We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms. http://tfl.nu/m17c
  Replies (6) Good night (2910) Bad night (478) Order T-Shirt
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  (002): View more from

  There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink

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  (002): There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink http://tfl.nu/tsjq
  Replies (8) Good night (1626) Bad night (286) Order T-Shirt

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