He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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