I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
Randomize