Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize