i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
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