Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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