i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
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rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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