It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
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