Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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