Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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