i'm signing you up for texting rehab
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize