don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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