the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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