I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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