yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
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