Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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