i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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