My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize