Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize